I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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