I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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