If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
