Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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  (606): the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night http://tfl.nu/1i7p
  Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (681)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face

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  (202): just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while (202): woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face http://tfl.nu/fujm
  Replies (11) Good night (899) Bad night (3363)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7072) Bad night (839)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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  (630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4538) Bad night (710)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

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  (847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad? (952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him.... http://tfl.nu/ht91
  Replies (37) Good night (2135) Bad night (8011)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.

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  (814): Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast. http://tfl.nu/ngbn
  Replies (10) Good night (4810) Bad night (846)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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  (817): And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub http://tfl.nu/i3vc
  Replies (7) Good night (1002) Bad night (3279)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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  (843): I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues. (478): Moment of silence for the loss of that option. http://tfl.nu/jcvy
  Replies (29) Good night (2020) Bad night (7227)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2736) Bad night (878)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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  (903): Beer Popsicles are better in theory http://tfl.nu/iyrx
  Replies (9) Good night (2037) Bad night (953)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.

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  (519): I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning. http://tfl.nu/ffy0
  Replies (4) Good night (3653) Bad night (532)
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  (323): View more from California

  He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.

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  (323): He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain. http://tfl.nu/r1vy
  Replies (8) Good night (2850) Bad night (719)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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  (806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1
  Replies (3) Good night (1452) Bad night (733)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.

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  (248): Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift. http://tfl.nu/gpor
  Replies (5) Good night (847) Bad night (510)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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  (919): It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds. http://tfl.nu/w9p4
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (204)

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