Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  What did we do last night that was yellow?

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  (860): What did we do last night that was yellow? http://tfl.nu/a1qq
  Replies (4) Good night (1172) Bad night (1994)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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  (815): Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic. http://tfl.nu/2mbo
  Replies (4) Good night (3119) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude

  (650): View more from California

  So your saying just a blow job?

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  (347): Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude (650): So your saying just a blow job? http://tfl.nu/cev0
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (3311)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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  (615): i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat http://tfl.nu/x2jk
  Replies (30) Good night (6052) Bad night (1321)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1592) Bad night (3290)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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  (323): Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle. http://tfl.nu/1g9t
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (3745)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

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  (908): Intervention is following me on twitter. (440): wow. http://tfl.nu/4vti
  Replies (14) Good night (5321) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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  (406): A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true. http://tfl.nu/azt6
  Replies (5) Good night (2718) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

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  (847): I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yf92
  Replies (28) Good night (1686) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me

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  (703): No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me http://tfl.nu/mnmv
  Replies (5) Good night (2658) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day

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  (774): Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day http://tfl.nu/bsus
  Replies (4) Good night (1513) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

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  (312): OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY??? http://tfl.nu/50ou
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today

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  (541): You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today http://tfl.nu/hkte
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike

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  (301): I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike http://tfl.nu/9zq8
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.

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  (832): He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/v57f
  Replies (0) Good night (330) Bad night (391)

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