Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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  (604): My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry. http://tfl.nu/6crc
  Replies (8) Good night (396) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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  (814): SEEEEXXX PLEASE http://tfl.nu/ygll
  Replies (19) Good night (2976) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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  (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp
  Replies (16) Good night (2604) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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  (208): I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid. http://tfl.nu/h0xq
  Replies (11) Good night (665) Bad night (2348) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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  (713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb
  Replies (27) Good night (4427) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.

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  (302): I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket. http://tfl.nu/5q0l
  Replies (10) Good night (3166) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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  (610): I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you. http://tfl.nu/0cak
  Replies (13) Good night (1245) Bad night (2363) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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  (979): A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her. http://tfl.nu/dqlo
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (1631) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

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  (585): I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again. http://tfl.nu/lp5f
  Replies (6) Good night (1544) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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  (812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg
  Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What a great time to reflect on life

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  (248): Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up (248): What a great time to reflect on life http://tfl.nu/lxxa
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (195)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago

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  (908): i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago http://tfl.nu/q8gp
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (495)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait

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  (787): I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait http://tfl.nu/887l
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt

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