I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We have started to decorate penises.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?