Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

Fav 11 2381 709
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?

Fav 21 1013 2159
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

Fav 10 806 4076
share tweet
(204): View more from Manitoba

I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

Fav 7 967 5574
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

Fav 32 5873 2820
share tweet
(916): View more from California

They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.

Fav 23 6565 1197
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

Fav 18 4896 1343
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

Fav 5 2226 915
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.

(217): View more from Illinois

Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever

Fav 1 252 289
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT