I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.