If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun