haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
