Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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