u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
