After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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