Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
