You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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