I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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