i don't like sucking hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize