you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
