Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
