The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
