Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
