My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
