toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
