oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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