dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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