i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize