Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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