Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
