If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
