I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
