no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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