There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
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he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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