I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
