just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
