I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
