Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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