She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
