ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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