Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
