If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
