Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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