Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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