can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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