Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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