I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
