At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
