it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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