All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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