he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
