im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
