Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
