That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
