I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
