i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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