Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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