I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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