the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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