Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
