There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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