I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...