I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf