This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.