who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
