areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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