69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
