Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need a beard to bite.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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